RP:]] Teenagers scare the living shit out of me...

I don't want to hurt you Matt, I just want the truth.
And now I have it.
I don't know what i want now.
I just, want to, be myself.
Today, when I was out in town.
I felt like I was.
But when we were in that bed, making love, I felt like I was myself then too.
But, I can't go back.
God I wish i could.
God I wish I was good enough for you as well.
God...

Matt wrote:

Gerard wrote:

Zacky wrote:

Matt wrote:

((Mwahah are we just kinda entertaining you Becky? LOL.
And I think Bree told me to tell you to text her or something...))

((Becky's there with the pop corn like "Oh Zing" "-cries-" "How could he?" Who needs the cinema when you have us? LOL.))

((PARTIALLY TRUE!!! I'm sitting back and constantly clicking refresh, feeling bad for Zacky and Matt. At one point i did say "WHAT THE HELL?! THIS IS INSANE" -nodds-))

((LOL at what part did you do that at? LOL. And our RP is insane! Hahah. We're in it afterall. The girls who danced and sung while everyone else cried at the leavers assembly. Haha))

((-ponders- Probably between where matt and syn kiss or whatever and when Zacky was like GRRRR and went all pissy on them :) -claps- BIG turn. Matt and Zacky seemed like..they would be together longer..but..guess not. lol!))

Zacky wrote:

Gerard wrote:

Matt wrote:

Gerard wrote:

Zacky wrote:

Matt wrote:

((Mwahah are we just kinda entertaining you Becky? LOL.
And I think Bree told me to tell you to text her or something...))

((Becky's there with the pop corn like "Oh Zing" "-cries-" "How could he?" Who needs the cinema when you have us? LOL.))

((PARTIALLY TRUE!!! I'm sitting back and constantly clicking refresh, feeling bad for Zacky and Matt. At one point i did say "WHAT THE HELL?! THIS IS INSANE" -nodds-))

((LOL at what part did you do that at? LOL. And our RP is insane! Hahah. We're in it afterall. The girls who danced and sung while everyone else cried at the leavers assembly. Haha))

((-ponders- Probably between where matt and syn kiss or whatever and when Zacky was like GRRRR and went all pissy on them :) -claps- BIG turn. Matt and Zacky seemed like..they would be together longer..but..guess not. lol!))

((IT'S JO'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!))

((LMAO!!))

Zacky, you are perfect.
-Smiles-
You better than me. Much better, I didnt deserve you.
But... I love Brian. I am sorry, but I do.
-Sniffs-
I really am sorry about the way this all turned out Zacky, I really am.
It was incredible when we were making love.
And that's what it was. It wasnt fucking. It was making love.
And it was beautiful. It really was.
I'm so sorry about everything.
And I want you to be strong again, I really do.
I just dont want you to loose the Zacky Baker we all know and love in the process of trying to change.
Please dont do this.
-Bites lip-
Zacky... I really am sorry.

Zacky wrote:

Gerard wrote:

Matt wrote:

Gerard wrote:

Zacky wrote:

Matt wrote:

((Mwahah are we just kinda entertaining you Becky? LOL.
And I think Bree told me to tell you to text her or something...))

((Becky's there with the pop corn like "Oh Zing" "-cries-" "How could he?" Who needs the cinema when you have us? LOL.))

((PARTIALLY TRUE!!! I'm sitting back and constantly clicking refresh, feeling bad for Zacky and Matt. At one point i did say "WHAT THE HELL?! THIS IS INSANE" -nodds-))

((LOL at what part did you do that at? LOL. And our RP is insane! Hahah. We're in it afterall. The girls who danced and sung while everyone else cried at the leavers assembly. Haha))

((-ponders- Probably between where matt and syn kiss or whatever and when Zacky was like GRRRR and went all pissy on them :) -claps- BIG turn. Matt and Zacky seemed like..they would be together longer..but..guess not. lol!))

((IT'S JO'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!))

{{My fault?
I AM THE ONE ON MSN NOW SAYING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH NO MORE MATTACKY!!!!!!!!!}}

-nods-
I want to change.
But...for the better.
Not the worse.
I want to be more confident and learn to stand by myself.
Rather than behind you or Syn.

((pfft. i even want matt and zacky to stay together.))

Zacky you ca do that..
Stand strong.
Just... try not to change completely okay?
The Zacky now... that has always been around was amazing and perfect and who I loved.
The Zacky I saw today was obnoxious, cruel, harsh and mean. I dont want that guy as my best friend.
I want the sweet, kind, caring, funny one I always used to know.
-Shivers-
-Looks around-
Zacky we are still on this fucking beach and it is half ten...
-Looks up-
And it is dark...
And starting to rain...
-Grins at getting wet slowly-
Can we please go home or something?
Home? Where is that? You have been staying with Zacky for the passed like, week. Fuck, actually face my mother and sleep in my own bed that I havent slept in for days? Whoa...

((HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! I HATE MIBBA!!! I HATE IT!!!! NO NO NO!!!! BULLSHIT!!! -hits computer- I DONT WANT TO F'IN WRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!! GAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -cries-))

((LOL! I dont know what I want. I want Mattacky and Bratt... but that could never happen.
Maybe we shall just have Matt.
Haha. I have a feeling that is gonna happen soon anyway.))

I will try not to change too much.
But in all fairness to me, I had just found out my boyfriend didn't want me anymore. I think I have the right to be a little upset.
-walks off the beach-

((-literally bangs head on desk- GAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ALL DAY OF WRITING THE DAMN STORY, IT DECIDES TO LOG ME OUT!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -cries some more- DAMN DAMN DAMN IM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!))

It's not that I dont want you Zacky.
If I could have my own way I would have you both.
But that is never gonna happen, obviously.
And I had to choose who I wanted, out of you and Brian.
And I chose Brian.
-Smiles weakly-
It doesnt mean I'm gonna stop loving you though.
Even though this love is supposedly fake.
Even though it feels so goddamn real.
I really do wish there was some sort of potion that could make you not love someone.
That would help so much here.
-Grins-

((Shit! I'm sorry Becky! -Hugs-))

Matt wrote:

((Shit! I'm sorry Becky! -Hugs-))

((-looks up at- It was long..it was long and took all day.. to copy it from paper to the computer..and..and -panics- I DONT WANT TO TYPE IT ALL OVER AGAIN!! I'm seriously crying. I'm really really upset...))

It didn't say you couldn't have Syn as well.
-looks up at-
I just want you.
I don't care if I have to share.

-Bites lip-
Zacky... that isnt fair on you or Syn.
I could never do that to you.
I could never give half my love to you and half to Syn...
It's not right.
No matter how much I might want it
I could never do that.
But I do want you.
I just...
-Shakes head-
I can't have you Zacky.
I dont deserve you, you deserve someone... who isnt me.

((Shit I'm so sorry Becky! Grrr that sucks! But... these things happen, unfortunately. -Hugs- Sucks they do though.))

Matt wrote:

((Shit I'm so sorry Becky! Grrr that sucks! But... these things happen, unfortunately. -Hugs- Sucks they do though.))

((thanks.. -smiles- ))

Matt, please.
I can't bare to think about not being with you.
Please...
Don't do this...
I don't care if you are with Syn.
Please, just, kiss me.
-grips onto Matt's jacket-
Please...

-Looks at Zacky-
-Lowers eyes to lips-
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
Zacky no! I can't! I can't fucking do it! I can't do it to Syn! Not again!
I am so fucking lucky I have him back. I can't throw him away. Not again. I love him too much. This...
I can't do this.
-Bites lip-
I gotta go Zacky.
I gotta... leave.
I gotta go home.
I gotta sleep alone.
For the first time in days.
-Looks at-
I gotta get over you Zacky.

((Okay... okay -stretches- I'm going to re-write it. It better be so damn good, i get subscriptions to the friggin' whole story. Mibba? If you do it again, and i doubt you will because COPY is going to be my best friend, i'm going to kill you...and probably go to livejournal XD))

-watches Matt leave-
Well done genious.
You just killed any relationship you could have had with him.

-Walks home-
-Walks into house-
-Texts Zacky-
Can you text me to make sure you got home okay? Sorry, I know you're a big boy and all, but I feel bad about leaving you out at night, alone. And we need to talk about this. Sensibly with no hitting or anger, okay? Tomorrow or something.
Matt x