RP:]] PIRATES OF THE QUEERABBEAN

((I am STILL laughing insanely at it.
IT'S SO FUNNY!! Hahahahahahahah!!!!!!
NOW THIS IS A MEGALOLZ MOMENT!! Hhaahahaha
*Breathes*
*Continues laughing insanely*))

-Looks around-
Eww.
This definitely needs a gay man's touch.
-Laughs-
Obviously none of the others got to.
-Looks at Cristina-
So what's up with this ship? How come all the men on it like other men? Is there no straight men left?
-Smiles-
Not that I'm complaining or anything, but STILL.
It's strange.
-Looks at-
Any nice wine there?

((BRB! My bones aaache!! I'ma have a bubble bath! ))

*groans*
Ugh, don't remind me.
I think Syn has some magic barrier whereby every man on board turns gay so he can have fun and I'm screwed.
*pulls out vintage wine*
*looks over*
This looks expensive, it'll do.
*smiles*
*leans back against bottles*
I'm going crazy with lack of sex.
*laughs*
So much so I contemplated sleeping with Zacky the other night.

Matty wrote:

((BRB! My bones aaache!! I'ma have a bubble bath! ))

[[Okie dokie!]]

-Blinks-
You were going to sleep with Zacky?
-Looks at-
Did you?
-Smiles at-
And if I was straight, I'd give you sex.
-Laughs softly-
Considering I need it more than you.
Believe me.
-Smiles-
And it is a little odd. Then again, most of them are bi, so I guess you gotta chance.
-Smiles-

*shakes head*
No, I find him too... childlike in a way.
*holds hands up*
Not in a sick, dirty way.
He's just kinda goofy and innocent.
I'm more into the slightly darker men.
The criminal geniuses.
*laughs*
Aww, if I was a guy I'd sleep with you.
Actually I would anyway but y'know, I'm not your type.
*smiles*
I've got no chance.
Coby's all hung up on Syn, Syn wouldn't touch me unless it involved weaponry, Zacky's not my type, Mick's a flaming homo and Brody's a girl.
Looks like it's just me and my hand for a while.

-Laughs-
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not getting any either.
-Sighs-
I guess we will just have to wait until the next island, huh?
-Smiles-
And yeah, Zacky is like that. Sweet but goofy and innocent and stuff.
But I like it.

-Shrugs-
-Coughs-
So erm, how did you get messed up in all this pirate shit then?
-Looks at wine-
And are we having any of that? Haha.

*looks down at wine*
Oh yeah.
*opens bottle*
Hmm, not as vintage as I thought.
*holds up screw cap*
Cheap bastard.
*laughs*
You know, if you like Zacky - and don't bother denying it coz I can see it all over your face - you should just tell him.
You never know what might come of it.
*smiles*
*grabs glasses from side*
*pours two out*
Well, my ex-husband, not Syn, he's still current.
He kinda... well, he sorta drugged me while we were together one night and I ended up out on the sea with him.
I was, what, 15/16 at the time?
Anyway, I was the ship's skivvy.
I had to do whatever the captain and his crew asked.
No matter what it was.
If you get where I'm coming from here.
That went on for... well, until I was about 21.
Then I was too old for the captain, too damaged.
So he found someone else, someone a bit younger - not by much, granted but...
*sighs*
Of course to keep up appearances, he decided we had to get married.
So no-one would suspect that he was sleeping with his cabin boy.
Unlike Syn, he wasn't exactly open about his love for men.
Anyway, myself and this boy became pretty close.
I was completely in love with him, he... well, he cared for me.
I know that much.
*smiles sadly*
We kept planning to leave, to get away from the ship and the torture but we knew it was impossible.
*takes long drink from glass*
In the end we did the only thing we could to free ourselves.
*looks at Matt*
We killed him.
We stole a lifeboat and we got as far away as we could.
And since then, I've kinda had to stick with the pirate life.
I'm not on the run or anything.
I just...
I know this guys crew were very loyal and if they find me on land...
Well it wouldn't end pleasantly.
I stay in the same place for a while before leaving but I tend to feel safer out on the ocean.

((I am randomly throwing anything in a bowl right now. Flour, eggs, chocolate chips, butter, milk etc, to see what happens after I bake my strange concoction. Hehe. I'm not even following any recipe. Hahahahaha))

-Looks at Cristina-
-Blinks-
Whoa.
Quite a story then, huh?
That must have been so tough on you babe.
Aww.
-Moves towards and hugs-
I'm sorry.
But you seem like a strong women.
I wouldn't have been able to handle it.
I just kinda... joined. They asked, so I did.
I haven't been abused or such.
Not yet, at least.
-Smiles-
-Takes glass of wine and sips-
Mm, nice. Haha.
-Looks around-
I don't even know what I'm actually doing here.
-Sighs-
I don't belong here.
-Looks at-
And maybe I like Zacky.
But maybe just a little bit.

I'm only this strong because I went through all that.
Strength in the face of adversity and all that.
It was tough but... in a weird way, I'm glad it happened.
I mean, I could just be of those boring island wives with kids and a loving husband.
This is much more fun, drinking wine in a ships cellar with you while my husband bangs his first mate.
*grins*
It's great.
No-one really belongs here, Shadows, this is a ship of outcasts.
That's why it's so nice.
No-one expects you to be anything but you.
*sits on table*
I knew you liked him.
*grins*
You two would make an adorable couple!
So... how are we going to win him over?

I'm sorry.
But yeah, I guess in some ways it could be better than a normal life.
-Sips wine-
Who needs a normal life anyway?
-Laughs-
And well, yeah.

And I am not even gonna do anything to win him over.
I mean, I can't.
I am so not his type, obviously. Judging on the type of guys he goes for.
That Mick dude and shit. He is hot, y'know? And they are sexy and stuff and I'm just... not.
-Shrugs-
No one has ever ben attracted to me. I mean, they see me and are like WOW but then once they get to know me it's like blagh.
-Sighs-
And I suppose.
It's the Misfit Ship, I guess.
-Grins-
With all the strange, men and woman.
No one normal.
Everyone different.
But we're all good.
Kinda.
-Smiles and drinks more wine-

Sweetie, you are attractive.
You're a gorgeous man both inside and out.
Yes, you're very sensitive but there's nothing wrong with that.
*smiles at*
Just means you'll be a caring lover.
Besides, he knows you pretty well and isn't bothered by you, is he?
Anyway, you're ten times sexier than Mick.

Thanks Cristina.
But still, he'll never like me that way.
I'm like... a friend.
Nothing more.
By the looks of things anyway, Zacky is more into fooling around and one night stands and just the physical stuff.
And I wouldn't just want that kinda relationship with him.
I'd want... the romantic side more, you know?
And I don't think he wants that in a relationship.
Not yet at least.
I guess that is why I am too scared to say anything.
-Smiles-
That and the fact that I'm utterly terrified, of course.

*smiles*
Then you use the sneaky girl tips.
Make him fall in love with you.
You just make sure that you're there for him and by his side whenever he needs you.
You tell him that you think he's hot when he's doubting himself.
You become, like, the super best friend.
Little romantic gestures here and there which could also be passed off as signs of a strong friendship.
It's sneaky but it never fails.
*laughs*
You should never be too afraid to tell someone that you care about them.
Because when you're looking back on your life, that'll always be the thing you regret.

-Smiles-
Good Idea actually.
I could try that, see how it goes.
-Shrug-
I still don't know how I feel about him anyway.
It's probably just a tiny crush.
-Looks at-
Thanks though.

No problem.
I'm the expert at romance.
Which doesn't make much sense considering my track record.
*laughs*
*finishes glass*
There's nothing more depressing than the bottom of a glass.
*jumps off table*
*grabs bottle*
*pours another glass*
Y'know this storm's not as bad as I thought it would be.
I can't really feel a thing.

-Grins-
Has it even started yet?
-Looks at-
I have no idea what's going on outside of this deck.
-Shrugs-
-Looks at Cristina-
Honey, you are going to find the right, perfect man for you soon enough, I promise you.
You're beautiful, smart, kind and funny.
Any man would love you.
-Smiles-
-Finish glass of wine-
-Pours another-

((Ok, whatever the fuck I made are so weird!!
They kinda look like cookies, but are soft like cakes.
They don't taste of either though.
My sister described them as chocolate flavoured bread.
But my family thinks they taste okay though. Haha.
They look a little like aliens though. Hahaha.))

Thank you, M.
*smiles at*
You're right, I mean, who knows what's waiting in the next port, right?
And if all else fails I could go gay and sleep with Brody.
*laughs*

[[SQUISHY COOKIESSSSSSSS!!!]]

((YERR!))

-Grins-
Who is Brody?
-Shakes head-
Exactly. You always have your options.
-Smiles-
-Drinks more wine-
Holy shit this is strong. I am feeling it already!!
-Grins-

*smiles*
Such a lightweight.
It's cute.
*walks across to table, stumbling*
I'm not feeling anything.
*giggles*
Which is what I was just complaining about.
*tries to sit on table*
*falls off edge*

((HAHAHAHA I AM SEEING MCFLY TOMORROW!! ROCK ON MAN! YERR!! RIGHTEOUS!!! RIGHTEOUS!!! YERRR!!! MCFLY!!! FUCK YEAH!!! WOOO!!! YERRR!!! *Headbangs*))

-Laughs-
I wonder what captain Synykins would do if he knew we were down here like this?
-Smirks-
He couldn't do anything anyway. He can't hurt you and he wouldn't dare hurt me.
I am much bigger than him.
-Cracks up-
In many ways I'm guessing.

Pft, he'd just cry over the loss of his beloved wine.
And trust me, Shadowsykins, from the random peeks I've allowed myself at
your crotch, you are way bigger than him.
In fact, you'd put a fucking horse to shame.
*covers mouth*
Did I really just say that?
*giggles*
I think I might be a little tipsy.

[[McFly?
Whoa, you're hardcore.]]

-Laughs-
Looks down at own crotch.
-Looks up at Cristina-
Do you wanna see it?

-Laughs-
I mean, you are in a great position, you know.
I would undress for you.
-Shrugs-
And it wouldn't be a big deal, coz I am gay.
-Laughs and finishes glass-
I think we both are a little tipsy.
-Nods-

*laughs*
You'd really show me your dick?
Go on then, Shadows!!!
*claps*
Get it out, get it out.
*giggles*

-Laughs-
FINE!
But you have to show me something of yours after!!
-Nods-
-Stands up shakily-
-Moves hands to jeans and undoes and pulls down-
-Throws jeans off-
-Lifts up shirt-
-Looks at Cristina and pauses-
-Licks own lips before pulling down underwear-
-Looks at Cristina-
-Smiles weakly-
There you go.
-Laughs-