RP:// Zacky Haner. Mr Haner 4 Zacky Baker. I love Mr Haner..

((Nice entrance Matt. HAHA.))

Just when I was beginning to doubt you were gay, you go and prove it to me.
*laughs*
Erm, this isn't a stuffed bra... which by the way you couldn't stop staring at all day at school, thank you very much.
They're my moobs.
*laughs again*
Which is something I never thought I'd say ever.
*turns to Zacky*
Are you sure we can't listen in? We'll be quiet, Scouts honour.

-sighs-
You can listen, since it is your phone. As long as you don't make comments afterwards. Ok?
Promise?
You look happy Matt?
-gets up from couch and rummages through bags-
Aww. Some of this stuff is adorable.

-Widens eyes-
-Gasps slightly-
-Looks at Brian confused-
What? How... I didn't think....
-Walks towards and peers at chest-
-Pokes slightly-
Dude. That's... strange.
He must already think they are weird, the last thing he wants is you freaking out over them...
-Smiles and hugs-
I should have known you'd get them. Where else would the baby get fed from?
-Peers around Brian body-
Not here I hope.
-Touches ass-
-Grins-
-Sits down on sofa with Matt and Brian-
Wanna look at all the things I got?
-Smiles and opens bags-
I got more baby stuff than actual food, which is what I went out for in the first place. Haha.

I promise on Matt's mom's life.
*smirks*
Matt, did you actually buy any food? Or just baby clothes coz I can't cook baby-gros.

Yeah, it's really weird, thanks for pointing that out.
Really helping my self-esteem there, Matty.
*slaps hand which poked*
I've already had Zacky fondling them, I don't need you joining in.
So, what have we got?
*delves into bags*

-Looks at Brian-
More baby stuff. Haha.
And pft, you cook? You didn't cook when you weren't pregnant and you aren't cooking now.
-Laughs-
Don't worry, I got SOME food stuff. Haha.
-Smiles at Zacky-
Uh huh, you have no idea how expensive baby stuff is. It's all worth it though.
-Beams at-
But do you have any idea how hard it is to find things that don't say Mommy or something on them? Seriously, it's a nightmare.
-Laughs-
And yeah, I'm happy. I saw Jepha on my way back and gotta drink with him. No doubt he probably put something in it. I'm not seeing Pink Elephants though, so perhaps not. Haha.

Matt's Mom's life?
-narrows eyes at Brian-
Just don't be an asshole yeah?
I haven't spoken to Mick in about a week.
I wanna...do this right.
-smiles at-
Matt, some of these tees are so sweet.
-pulls out a tee-
Aww.
-reads-
I love my uncle.
-smiles goofily-

-Smiles-
I'm sorry Brian!! I'm sure you had the same reaction to them as me though, so you can't just blame me. Haha.
Don't worry, I don't love you less though.
-Kisses-
You're still beautiful to me.
-Grins and kisses chest-
Whoa that brought back memories. Haha.
And aw no touching??
-Pouts-
But...
You're my fiance, shouldn't I have felt every part of you by now?

I cooked you breakfast on your birthday!
*huffs*
I can cook some things.
More than you can anyway.
*sticks tongue out*
*pulls out little shirt*
'Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Milk'?
That's the cutest thing ever.
Seriously, Matty, your giggle's been beaten.

-Smiles at Zacky-
Uh huh. How is it not gonna love you? You're going to be Uncy Zacky who it comes to when it has problems or is sick of me and Brian. The one who gives it a dollar to get some candy or something when it comes to visit you.
Awwww.
-Beams-

*smiles*
Good.
And you can show me just how much later.
*smirks*
And they still feel really weird... I don't really want anyone touching them...
*shudders*
I feel like a weird man/woman hybrid thing... like Michael Jackson but flesh.

Damn right.
I'm going to be the coolest uncle ever.
Cooler than your brother Brian.
-laughs-
Brian. You are still beautiful, we love you, right Matt?

Doesn't really take much to be cooler than Brent.
He'd hold the kid upside down or something.
I dread the day his wife tells us she's having a baby.
My mom's joked about telling her Brent's gay or something if that ever happens.
*laughs*
Could be interesting.

-Looks at Zacky-
Uh, yeah he's still beautiful. What the fuck? He's Brian Haner, the love of my life, how could I ever think he was ugly?
-Smiles at Brian-
Seriously, Jepha Howard? Great for stress relief. Haha.
-Blinks at Brian-
Later? What? What's going on later?

You saying I'm not cool?

-laughs-
Just kidding.
If your Mom did, it might be a lucky break for the poor girl.
-laughs-

*smiles*
Thanks Matty.
*kisses*
Even though you don't sound so sure.
And later I'm going to make up for your unintentional abstinence.

Yeah, she could go and find someone who knows the G-Spot isn't a play in Football.
*laughs*
You are cool, Zee.
You're the coolest little, purple-haired pansy I know.
*ruffles hair*

-Widens eyes-
Wha... really?
-Wraps arms around Brian and kisses lips-
-Smiles and pulls away-
I love you Brian.
-Laughs-
So... what do we all wanna do now?

Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex

Brian wrote:

Yeah, she could go and find someone who knows the G-Spot isn't a play in Football.
*laughs*
You are cool, Zee.
You're the coolest little, purple-haired pansy I know.
*ruffles hair*

-narrows eyes at-
Thanks Brian.
You make me sound oh so appealling.
-rolls eyes at-
-laughs-
Whats scary is that you know what it is and you are gay.

-Says angrily-
Okay Mom! Bye!
-Groans-
-Breathes-
Okay, she'll be gone the whole night again... What to do...
-Looks at phone-
-Smiles-
-Goes towards and rings Zacky's house-
-Waits-
-Sighs-
No answer.
-Shakes head and rings Matt and Brian's-
-Waits-
-Answering Machine-
Dammit!
Uh, hey guys, it's Mick... uh, have you seen Zacky? If you have can you tell him to phone me back... Uhh, and that I love him and miss him? Thanks, bye...
-Hangs up-
-Sighs-
How come it's so god damn difficult to just get hold of eachother?

*laughs*
Thought that'd make you happy.
*cuddles upto*
Yep, I know what a g-spot is.
It all comes from getting hammered with Scabbia while she's complaining about her husband.
*puts on slurred bad Italian accent*
"AND HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE THE G-SPOT WAS IF HE HAD A MAP!"
*shakes head*
I found out more about her that night than I ever needed to know ever.

-heard phone ring-
-listens while Brian is talking to-
-hears Mick's voice-
-widens eyes and bolts up from sofa and out of Brian's arms-
-runs to phone-
-manages to fal over bag of baby clothes-
-crawls to phone-
-picks up-
Hello? Mick? Baby?...
-silence-
-sighs-
Damnit!
-puts phone down-
-rings back sitting by the table on the floor-
-waits-

-Smiles and cuddles with-
Yes. Definitely happy.
-Makes eye contact with Zacky and looks away quickly-
-Bites lip-
I am definitely glad I wasn't there that night. Haha. Where was I anyway?
-Shrugs-
Well, whatever.
-Looks at bags-
-Moans-
I really should put the shopping away.
-Buries head in Brian-
But I'm so comfy!!!
-Pouts-
-Sighs-
You want anything to eat babe? I got everything you like...
-Smils-

Wait, why did he look at Zacky? Is he sleeping with Zacky? Is that why he hasn't raped me in my sleep?
Brian, you're paranoid, calm down.
Um, I think you were with your mom... or something.
I have never been able to look at that womans hands in the same way.
*shudders*
I think I'd like some... um...
*pretends to think*
I dunno, surprise me.
*grins*