RP:]] Teenagers scare the living shit out of me...

Syn wrote:

Zacky wrote:

Syn wrote:: I've been... a wreck... good. Well, I've been okay. I've been doing a lot of thinking. Which kinda sucked. Seriously, don't start contemplating things in a moshpit...

-laughs-
Get knocked out by a chick or something?
-laughs-

She was fucking massive!

-Laughs-
Glad you had fun.
Why were you thinking in the middle of the fucking moshpit, dumbass? You should have been thinking somewhere else.
You really can be stupid sometimes.

-smiles up at Matt-
You did your fair share of helping though.
I don't think I could of made it through the past few days without you.
-kisses softly-

*watches uncomfortably*
I feel a bit like a third wheel right now... what's going on with you two?

-Kisses back-
Same to you Zacky.
-Hugs-

And nothing Syn. We are just friends still. Just... we have been comforting eachother lately. I mean, you left me a mess, Zacky was a mess cos of Jacoby. All we had was eachother. And now we are okay cos of the comforting.
We're all okay now.
-Smiles-

IN FRONT OF ME?! YOU'RE FUCKING KISSING IN FRONT OF ME! I FUCKING HATE YOU BOTH!

I see. Well, I guess you find comfort where you can after something like that.

Yeah I guess.
I mean, you're okay with it, right? I mean, me and you, we're over now so it doesn't really matter...
And... this is how we find comfort. I mean, we showered together the first night, and it was fine, it felt natural and last night... did other things.
I dont know why we do it, I dont know how it makes it all better, but strangely, it does.
It doesnt make much sense, but nor do we, so it's all okay... i think.
-Shrug-
-Strokes Zacky's hair-
You okay babe? You're kinda quiet...
-Smiles-
-Kisses-

Other things? Other things? WHAT KIND OF OTHER THINGS?!

Yeah, it's all fine with me. I mean, like you said we're not together anymore. You can do whatever with whoever you want.
*sniffles*
Um... I just need to use the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute...
*heads out of room*
*walks to bathroom*
*locks door*
*sits on toilet and cries quietly*

Ummm.... okay Syn.
Damn I feel bad now.
He hurt me, he deserves to feel a little bit of hurt...
What am I fucking saying? It was me who cheated in the first place.
-Moans-
Dammit
-Get's up-
-Knocks on bathroom door-
-Waits outside-
Look Syn, I'm sorry, okay? There is nothing going on between me and Zacky, okay? We just kiss and touch and ~~suck eachother off~~ cos it makes us feel better and we are comfortable with it being a friend thing rather than a lover's thing. If that makes sense.
We need to talk, okay? Once you are finished... uh... peeing and all. I need to know how you really feel about this.

*wipes eyes*
*unlocks door*
It's open.

-Opens door-
-Walks in-
-Sit's on edge of bathtub-
Okay Syn, spill.
Why are you so sad about me and Zacky? We aren't even dating! We are just comforting eachother, that's all.
And you broke up with me, remember. I dont know what you are so upset about...

I'm not... I mean I am but not because of us and...
*sighs*
You've moved on so easily and I'm still struggling with everything. I'm still going to sleep at night hugging one of your shirts. ~~I'm still drinking to numb the pain.~~ I've made my choice but I'm still hurting because of it. I guess I'm just having trouble dealing with the fact you've moved on already.

Syn, I havent moved on.
I am just... still angry and upset and sad and depressed about it all.
I guess Zacky numbs my pain.
It is strange. But, yeah.
You're gonna have to try and get over it then, cos it's happening.
I mean, you made it pretty clear on that night that you dont want me ever again, so... -shrugs- I guess... I dont know.
I'm sorry for everything Syn. And I am sorry about me and Zacky. And I promise I havent moved on. -Smiles- It will take a lot more than a hot green eyed best friend and a few days to get over you Brian Haner.
-Laughs softly-
But I am kinda coping.

-looks around room darkening-
-hugs knees close to chest-
-starts to breath heavily-
It's ok. No one is going to get you, Jacoby is in prison...
But James...Oh God.
-starts to breath even faster-
-hears a tap on the window-
-starts to cry silently-
Please don't hurt me...

I'm glad you're coping, really. You're doing better than me, heh. I was hitting on a guy in New York, he told me his name was Matt and I cried my fucking eyes out in his arms.

I... don't know why I told you that. Heh.

It's going to take a lot to get over you. Maybe a faithful Matt clone? I could clone you from your shirt.

Awww. I'm so sorry Syn.
I am coping, but... yeah I cried my eyes out in Zacky's arms the other night. I do that a lot lately, everytime I thought about you.
I know there is no point me even saying this, but I wasn't unfaithful Syn. I didnt go out and fuck random guys behind your back, or even kiss them.
I did a small amount of stuff with Frank, and to me, it was just for practise, for him to get used to me. That was all.
-Shrug-
There is no point even saying it now, but it's true.
I never once stopped loving you or wanting you, honestly.

-huddles up to Matt's hoodie-
-cries softly into hoodie-
No one is out to get you...
They are locked away...
The taping is just the trees outside...
-hears a car stop outside-
-widen eyes-
Mattie...

I know. And part of me thinks I really overreacted to the whole thing. Part of me wants to get on my knees and beg you to take me back. But part of me knows it's not fair on either of us. It's take me so long to be able to completely trust you and then you'd have to deal with my jealousy.

-Whispers-
You did overreact.
It'd all be different anyway, I mean, I cried over you, and I still will. But you hurt me, a lot, and I don't know, I don't think I could go through that again.
-Looks into eyes-
I do still love you though. I told you I always would.
And, -shrug- it probably is better, for you at least, if we weren't together so I guess it is for the best...

I still love you too. I'll never stop. I wouldn't know how. It is for the best... I mean, yeah we'll hurt but in the end we'll be better people and friends? Or some bullshit like that.

They say if you love somebody to set them free, if they come back they're yours, if they don't they never were to begin with. Maybe that's like us? Maybe we just weren't ready?

[[Haha, this whole thing leaves me screwed! I can't see Syn with anyone other than Matt or Zacky. ~~Or me.~~ I'll find someone for him, buahahahaha.]]

I dont know.
I mean, I would want to be with you, yeah.
And I would come back to you.
Even though I would be worried about everything and it would be hard at first. But I would. I told you, I still love you.
People who love eachother should be together.
-Shrugs-
But you broke up with me, cos you couldn't trust me.
And that was your decision.
And I'm guessing you are gonna stick by it.
-Shrugs-

-cries so more into hoodie-
Help me please...I don't think I can breath...
Ok....
-rests head on wall-
-takes deep breaths-
-opens eyes and looks up at ceiling-
Matt, please hurry up...

I don't know anymore.

Honestly? I want you back. But... I... I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to be worrying everytime I leave you alone with someone. I don't know... maybe we should think about it? I mean, really think about it. Would it be fair on us and...

Hang on... *presses ear to wall*... is Zacky crying?

We can just... wait a while.
I guess we can think about it.
I mean, can you handle it? If you were with me? Could you trust me?
I wouldnt stop doing what I am doing with Zacky. I mean, could you handle that?
I dont know, just think about it, i guess.
-Listens-
I can't hear anything... I thought it was the rain or something.

-hears more tapping on the wall-
-closes eyes-
-tries to open eyes-
I'm so...scared...
-hears scratching-
-clutches hoodie-
Mattie!!!!!!!!

» RP:]] Teenagers scare the living shit out of me...